If I had to describe how I feel about myself I would say that I lack confidence. From my hair to my thighs, I am constantly critiquing myself. Last year I started getting a few spots on my chin, and after going through most of my life spot free it was quite worrying. Those worries only made the bastards multiply, the more I fretted the more spots appeared on my face. It got to the point where I would feel so self conscious that I would cover my face with my hair as much as I could, and conceal the hell out of my skin. I used to often go out sans make up but this became an absolute no-no.
After hiding for what felt like an eternity, I booked myself an appointment with my GP to try and get some advice. He told me to remove all of my make up so that he could see my skin, I freaked out and maybe had a little sob at the request but I obliged, and he told me I had acne. I asked him how and why this had happened to me as my skin was always clear, and he explained how it could be hormonal or stress related. He prescribed me some tablets and a cream to use nightly, and sent me on my way. After months of using a combination of the two daily, my spots slowly started to disappear and no new ones were rearing their ugly heads. I felt happier and brighter, but my bubble was slightly burst by the scarring I was left with. A lovely little reminder of my acne struggle. I continued to use the medication daily and my scars did start to fade a little.
It's now a year on and I am still using the medication. My scars are still there, and they probably will be for the foreseeable future but I have learnt to embrace them as one of my little 'flaws'. I still have days when I look in the mirror and yearn for my previously clear face, but I just remind myself that no one is perfect, we can only be the best version of ourselves and if the best version of myself has a few acne scars on her face, then I can handle that. I have shared a make up free photograph of myself that my boyfriend took - it was taken completely off guard but I love it. I feel happier, brighter and am more confident in myself, and I think this photograph highlights that. I'll never have oodles of confidence and sass, and I'm okay with that. I'm me, and I won't hide anymore.